never make a suicide joke again. yes this includes “i wanna die” as a figure of speech. swear off of it. actually make an effort to change how you think about things.
find something to compliment someone for at least 4 times a day. notice the little things about the world that make you happy, and use that to make other people happy.
talk to people. initiate conversation as often as you possibly can. keep your mind busy and you wont have to worry anymore
picture the bad intrusive thoughts in youe head as an edgy 13 year old and tell them to go be emo somewhere else
if someone makes you feel bad most of the time, stop talking to them. making yourself hang out with people who drain you is self harm. stop it.
… 8|
That’s some pretty good advice. I don’t know what’s left of my humor after ‘guess I’ll just die’ jokes but it’s worth a shot.
Personally i went from “guess I’ll die” jokes to “IF I HAVE TO BE HERE FOR 5 MORE MINUTES I PROMISE YOU I WILL BUY JUST, AN ARRAY OF CLOTHES.” and other wild hyperbolic stuff. Just replace the death part with something ridiculous and off topic. Its very entertaining
This also works with calling myself things like stupid, worthless, trash, etc. Even if you do this jokingly to yourself, your brain still believes it, and keeps up the cycle. Seriously, I found that when I stopped saying these things about myself, even jokingly, it made a massive difference.
Here’s a tip I picked up from a friend that’s helped me a lot — replace self deprecating jokes with ironically self aggrandizing jokes
Like every time I trip and fall, instead of saying “l’m just a disaster human” I say “I’m the epitome of grace and beauty”
Or like, when I draw a picture I’m not 100% happy with, instead of saying “my art is trash” I say something like “you know I think it’s time we replaced the Mona Lisa”
When you do that you get to make a joke, but you’re ALSO getting practice building yourself up, y’know?
And eventually it becomes a reflex and you get so used to it that you can say nice stuff about yourself even when you AREN’T joking
once I was working on a farm with this french guy who was going to school for Complicated Computer Stuff and he decided he wanted to go on a Big Adventure so he and I both ended up on this farm.
And one day we were moving fire wood from a big pile into neat little stacks for the winter and we came across a big wasp nest. Well, actually, we just kept coming across individual, very angry wasps, telling TALES of a nearby nest in the wood.
So the farmers hosting us shoo’d us away and told us we Were Not to go near the firewood again until they took care of the wasps bc they didn’t want any harm to befall us.
So I was happy for the break. I mean, we got plenty of breaks, but I never passed up the opportunity to drop where I stood and take a grass-nap.
But the French boy Could Not Abide wasps keeping him from his Duty.
SO he went back to the pile and started slowly moving logs one by one while I sat up and told him to, uh, Not Do That.
But he was determined. And when he finally found the Big Wasp Nest, and I was on my feet, he said “get ready to run.”
And let me tell you, when a Frenchmen lifts a log over his head, looking Wasps and Death Itself in the eye and tells ya that, you’re on your toes.
And he just fucking. Used a log to smash the nest. He just obliterated it and the wasps went Wild and we RAN.
But after about 15 minutes the wasps moved on, and we could get back to work.
Our hosts were HORRIFIED, and we promised we’d never do anything That Dumb again.
Which of course meant it became standard protocol for the next 10 times we found nests.
But honestly that really changed me. The dude didn’t just squash the wasps. he squashed my fear. Since that day, I have known none. I will SMASH any obstacles life gives me, even if it means running for my life and laying low for 15 mins for things to cool down.
also now this is usually how I always get rid of wasp nests but Do Not Do This
I’m out in the woods for work today and we found a hornet nest on our equipment and I said “it’s okay everyone just get ready to move” ad picked up a huge rock and I took care of it and they said “you are a wild girl Mallaidh Anne” and I like looked into the distance dramatically and thought of the one brave man who brought me here today
