1999 – The Simpsons predicts everything that happens in the world
The messed up part is that this, along with the Trump presidency, were predicted as jokes. These were seen as things so ridiculous that not only could they not actually happen, the idea of them was funny. So every time a Simpsons prediction comes true, the Simpsons wasn’t really trying to predict the future, they were making a cynical joke because they thought the real future would be better than it actually is. We’re living in the timeline where all the Simpsons’ worst assumptions about the world were 100% right.
I had a server tell me about how he was harassed into going to a church baptism ceremony by a not so close friend and to get them off his back he agreed
He decided some time before that of he was going to be forced to do this he might as well have fun with it right? So he goes to lush and buys one of the black bath bombs, and cuts it in half.
Now fast forward to the day of and he is wearing a small harness under his shirt that is keeping both haves of the bath bomb, one either shoulder blade.
He volunteers to get baptised
They take him up put him in the white robe and then he waits for his turn. Now the friend who invited him had no clue what he is doing. They are pleasantly surprised to see him participating.
Honestly. A mistake on their part.
I only knew this guy for a max of 45 minutes and I could already tell this dude was a chaos entity.
So his turn comes up and they go to dunk him and the water immediately starts to foam and turn black and he starts screaming like a banchee jumps out the water and hisses at the priest
Everyone fucking lost it and he was banned from ever attending that church again.
So yeah all in all seems like a great thing to do for a hilarious story
Dan and I bought a thing called “long ziti” from the local Weird Bargain Store, largely as a joke, but…. I have never had a more unsettling pasta experience in my life. They wouldn’t bend enough to cook from top to bottom simultaneously, and while they were cooking boiling water kept spouting out from the tops of them out of the pot, like a boiling pipe organ.
Then they were so long and floppy and hoselike that we couldn’t pick them up with anything other than tongs, and then they were so long and unwieldy that it was basically impossible to sauce them without them all slithering out of the bowl like wet snakes. They then proceeded to cool down almost completely within the the seconds it took to walk to the living room.
Eating them was like eating a bowl full half melted drinking straws.
Bringing back Long Ziti for another round because it’s just too funny
Im so glad faerie portals are coming with options these days
How the fuck was this photographed
How the fuck was this photographed
the second pic made me feel such an enormous amount of dread and i fear that if i turn around, he’ll be standing right behind me and i will finally learn the truth of what he had to do
Yall can be edgy and talk about how much you hate tumblr all you want but I will be real chief I value my undeserved clout on here and its also the only place that shoots all my niche interests directly into my brain at the speed of light
SpaceAceKaiju Tumblr 